Survival Guide for Concerts That Suck!

If you go to any number of concerts per year, it is inevitable that you will stumble upon some bad shows OR be forced to go to see artists you don't like.

Last night, I went to see Brand New at the Tabernacle with Thrice opening. Knowing that the Beowulf beast scream-singing type of music turns my blood cold and makes me want to teleport my ass out of there, I knew I would have to muster up some good acting skills and pretend it was awesome. Since I've been known to drag many friends to lots of obscure artists' concerts, I put together a survival guide for the haters to get through it and still have fun.

1. Drink, heavily.
2. Start interviewing the security
-I found out that Titus (one of the event staff) LOVES Young Jeezy, got completely beat up with bruises working a Bullet for My Valentine show, and thought Elton John was the nicest artist he had met
-Titus also has slept overnight at the Tabernacle to watch over artists' equipment and hasn't experienced any of the alleged hauntings of the 100 year old building
3. People watch
-East Atlanta must have emptied out and migrated to the Tabernacle for Brand New. YOUNG, TATTED UP, and DRUNK! Barely any women and the ones that were there, were busy trying to run to the bathroom to yack - Fail. DAMN! Right in the garbage can next to me? WTF!
-When I saw heavy metal band, Mastodon play live a few months back, there was nothing more entertaining than watching aging headbangers go crazy
4. Check out the view from somewhere else
- It's always fun to see if they still suck from up high, down low, or off to the side. You never know, they might be better than you thought
5. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em!
- I definitely feed off of the energy of a crowd. Regardless of whether I like the subject or not, I can respect collective excitement.
6. Above all, don't bitch, pout, or text the whole time!
- If you really hate it, politely decline next time, but bitching just makes it worse for you and lessens the experience for the actual fans. Definitely not a cool move.

There are always myriads of drunken fools at most concerts and they are always entertaining. You can either become one of them or continue laughing at them. More than that, if you can TRY and see what the appeal is, you never know, you could walk out with a great experience and a T-shirt to remember it.